Exhaustion...

ex·haus·tion noun
1. the act or process of exhausting.
2. the state of being exhausted.
3. extreme weakness or fatigue.
4. the total consumption of something: the exhaustion of your vacation benefits for the year.

Funny that nowhere in the dictionary does the term exhaustion refer to stupidity or embarassment. Generally speaking I find myself to be a fairly well educated woman. On any given day you can a assume I am put together and can carry on a relatively meaningful conversation with you. Wait back up.. I did say assume right?

Six weeks have gone by since sweet Ella's arrival and I am exhausted. Tired is no longer my word of choice. I am functioning but not at my best. Jumping from 2 kids to 3 is some tough stuff and no one quite prepared me for some of the mishaps that may happen when exhaustion sets in:

Austin had his tooth filled last week and I needed to make a follow-up appt with his regular dentist. Here's the conversation:

Receptionist- "Hello, May I help you?"
Me- "Yes, my son Austin has a temporary tatoo and I need to make an appointment"
Receptionist- "Excuse me"
Me- "I mean temporary filling"

Oh and here's a few more things that I am learning since having 3 with 2 under 2-

1. Nursing bras need an alarm that goes off when you forget to put your nursing pads back in.
2. Fish sticks and fries can be considered totally gourmet when served with McDonalds "fancy" ketchup packets.
3. Shopping carts need to be redesigned-Where exactly do the groceries go with one in the seat and a baby carrier in the basket?
4. Baby wipes- Oh wonderful baby wipes- if they only knew the purpose they serve.
5. Bathroom doors need "doggie doors" so kids can just climb through them to get to you.
6. Your child can still gain weight and be considered healthy when on a diet of 1% milk and jellybeans.
7. Sleep- sleep is for the weak- however I do require more than the 2 hours they are allowing me. My schedule: go to bed at 11:00, Ella up at 1:00, Jake up at 2:30, Austin up at 4, Ella back up at 5, Austin back up at 6:30, Jake back up at 8:00. Oh God help me!
8. If I ignore Jake's pleas for more milk long enough he will pick up a phone and say: "Hello,need milk"
9. Important decisions should never be made after 6pm- this includes deciding whether or not to shave your legs.
10. OB's should give husbands a gift certificate to the local strip club for free admission for a YEAR!