and not 2 seconds later he was looking for her..Where's Ella?
Monday, April 21, 2008
Precious...
I found him sharing his nee-nee with his sister this morning..
and not 2 seconds later he was looking for her..Where's Ella?
and not 2 seconds later he was looking for her..Where's Ella?
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Perfectly Complete
Austin is my first born. He is so much like me that sometimes it scares me. He's a worrier and a perfectionist. He is sweet, sincere and incredibly smart. He has a giving and kind heart. He's talented at sports(o.k. that one I definately am NOT!). I could go on and on about Austin but one word sums up everything about him - PERFECT. My life didn't even begin until I had him. I had so much fear of the unknown when I was pregnant with him but Austin's birth gave me PURPOSE. He made me a mother. He taught me what it really meant to love. I have a bond with Austin that few if anyone understands. We can communicate without words. I can tell how he is feeling by the look in his eyes. My relationship with Austin is one that I will treasure forever. I honestly thought that he would be my only child and oh how very wrong I was...
Jake is the one that I carried for 8 months and came out looking EXACTLY like his dad. How unfair is that? And 19 months later if he could grow a mustache and put on fire gear you may just mistake him FOR his dad. He is all boy. Cars, dirt, food, fire trucks, and animals is his thing. He is such a love. He has a precious round face with a melt your heart smile. His chubby fingers and thick body feel like heaven when he's cuddled up next to me. He is sweet and stubborn and likes things his way. For nine years he was the baby I longed for. My pregnancy with Jake brought about a maturity within me that I lacked with Austin. Having Jake made me feel confident and secure. He was my second miracle and is nothing but PERFECT.
I am not sure how to describe how I have been feeling since my 3rd sweet little miracle arrived. There is something about her being here that makes me feel so complete. So indescribably at peace. Oh how I long for some good sleep but even when I am tired I find myself unable to close my eyes. I hold her, sing to her, and stare endlessly at her face. She is beautiful, she has the sweetest smell, the softest skin, long graceful fingers, and peach fuzz hair. She is calm, content, and has a sweet disposition. I simply could not ask for anything more. She is PERFECT and she is finally mine.
Many times I have wondered why I have allowed myself to carry my heart on my sleeve. To be so vulnerable to the "unknown". My life would have been so much simpler had I chosen not to become a mother. My fears would be my own. My days would be quiet and calm. I would be showered and ready BEFORE noon. I could enjoy a warm..wait..HOT dinner. I could sleep in on Saturdays. I could watch a movie, read a magazine, take a bath. I could actually have a conversation with my husband, that does not include the words- stop it, eat your dinner, or come here and let me wipe your nose.
But then I soon realize how much of being a mother is really who I was meant to be. Each one of my children have given me an incredible gift. They have made me who I am. I am in awe of their utter innocence. Their smiles, laughter, and tears pull at my heart strings like nothing ever has. They have taught me patience, understanding, and unconditional love. My heart hurts when they hurt. I smile when they smile. I relish in their accomplishments and learn from their failures. I am blessed. I have been given the ultimate gifts. I wouldn't trade a sloppy kiss, cheetoh fingers, smelly socks, boogers or spit-up for anything. I have worked soo very hard to bring them all into this world. My only hope is that they will eventually know how grateful I am to have been given the most PERFECT MIRACLES I could have ever asked for. They are my greatest joy and my biggest accomplishments. It just doesn't get any more completely perfect than this...
Jake is the one that I carried for 8 months and came out looking EXACTLY like his dad. How unfair is that? And 19 months later if he could grow a mustache and put on fire gear you may just mistake him FOR his dad. He is all boy. Cars, dirt, food, fire trucks, and animals is his thing. He is such a love. He has a precious round face with a melt your heart smile. His chubby fingers and thick body feel like heaven when he's cuddled up next to me. He is sweet and stubborn and likes things his way. For nine years he was the baby I longed for. My pregnancy with Jake brought about a maturity within me that I lacked with Austin. Having Jake made me feel confident and secure. He was my second miracle and is nothing but PERFECT.
I am not sure how to describe how I have been feeling since my 3rd sweet little miracle arrived. There is something about her being here that makes me feel so complete. So indescribably at peace. Oh how I long for some good sleep but even when I am tired I find myself unable to close my eyes. I hold her, sing to her, and stare endlessly at her face. She is beautiful, she has the sweetest smell, the softest skin, long graceful fingers, and peach fuzz hair. She is calm, content, and has a sweet disposition. I simply could not ask for anything more. She is PERFECT and she is finally mine.
Many times I have wondered why I have allowed myself to carry my heart on my sleeve. To be so vulnerable to the "unknown". My life would have been so much simpler had I chosen not to become a mother. My fears would be my own. My days would be quiet and calm. I would be showered and ready BEFORE noon. I could enjoy a warm..wait..HOT dinner. I could sleep in on Saturdays. I could watch a movie, read a magazine, take a bath. I could actually have a conversation with my husband, that does not include the words- stop it, eat your dinner, or come here and let me wipe your nose.
But then I soon realize how much of being a mother is really who I was meant to be. Each one of my children have given me an incredible gift. They have made me who I am. I am in awe of their utter innocence. Their smiles, laughter, and tears pull at my heart strings like nothing ever has. They have taught me patience, understanding, and unconditional love. My heart hurts when they hurt. I smile when they smile. I relish in their accomplishments and learn from their failures. I am blessed. I have been given the ultimate gifts. I wouldn't trade a sloppy kiss, cheetoh fingers, smelly socks, boogers or spit-up for anything. I have worked soo very hard to bring them all into this world. My only hope is that they will eventually know how grateful I am to have been given the most PERFECT MIRACLES I could have ever asked for. They are my greatest joy and my biggest accomplishments. It just doesn't get any more completely perfect than this...
Monday, March 31, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
2 points...
Yep she missed it by 2 points. Our sweet girl seems to have plans of her own. Her lungs are just not ready and it's not worth taking any chances if she can't breathe on her own. I think she is just wanting to have a little more hair before she makes her debut. She must know she needs it for all her bows! We are dissapointed but certainly not upset. She needs to bake a little longer and I am certainly willing to do whatever is necessary to bring a healthy baby girl into this world. I haven't made it this far for something to go wrong. So in the meantime I am going to continue to snuggle with my boys and pray with all my heart that she arrives here safely next week. We'll be hanging low, enjoying the calm before the storm and blowing a few milk bubbles too...
He did this for over an hour!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
She can officially come now because...
The Science Fair Project is DONE!! I know it's a sad day when you're life revolves around school projects. Can you believe I was actually sitting at the computer typing his papers for the project when I was wondering what was kicking me in my stomach so hard! Yes she was forgotten even if for only a second. I was focused on getting this project out of my way. Austin is soo excited to turn it in but is practicing in front of Don and I about how he will present it to his class. It is so cute to watch him speak. He does a great job. I am not going to lie and tell you that I was a little upset he picked a partner for the project because it was inevitably done by just Austin and I. Let's just say that this other boy and his parents lucked out with a free no work science fair project this year. Oh well I think Austin learned his lesson or maybe not. Most likely he will end up like his mom and not no how to say No. Here's a pic of our final project board...
On another note Jake took his first ever bubble bath. I am so worried about his dry skin that I only bath him with Aveeno but I must have thought he was missing out on all the bubble action so I gave in and he wasn't too sure at first. He wanted me to keep wiping his hands off. He was never upset he just couldn't figure out why they kept sticking to him. It was adorable to watch and he played forever. Of course now all he wants is a bubble bath.
He's also turned into a great little helper and even carries you his dirty diaper pail...sometimes just the diapers! He also likes to take chips of any kind smash them on the carpet and then go get his vacuum and sweep them up. He's turning into quite a character and we can't wait to see how he is going to be with his baby sister. Just 2 days ago he took his baby Ella wrapped her up, rocked her for a minute, gently placed her on the ground, and then proceeded to sit on her! Oh this is gonna be fun. Check out my helper..
Both the boys are doing great and we are all just anxiously awaiting Ella's arrival. Austin is of course nervous about stuff he may miss at school but we have reassured him he will get to everything he needs to. They both have their days when they seem annoyed with each other, I think it is because of the age difference. However the next two pics show just how sweet they can be to each other especially when their favorite doughnuts are involved... 
Well that's all I have time for for now. I have been a bad blogger but look for some serious pic overload once our little miracle arrives. Please say a prayer for an easy delivery and a healthy baby. This all just can't seem to be over fast enough.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Searching
A few months ago I sat in church at the memorial service for Don's Aunt Geri. I listened as Pastor Berry described Geri and her life. One thing that he said was that she was a godly woman full of courage and conviction. Now I am not sure how watching a televangelist on Sunday mornings qualified her as a "godly woman" but none the less that was how she was described. Pastor Berry also mentioned that because of her being this way god saw that she was ready to be called home. So being one of the 1st real funerals I have ever attended (meaning someone I actually knew) I walked away from that service with my own perspective. Me and all my infinite wisdom decided that if I chose not to be a godly woman and I lacked the courage and conviction to meet my maker that he would see that I wasn't ready. And on with my days I went...
Fast forward to January 1st 2008. Oh how I wanted nothing more than to have that courage, that conviction, to march right up to those pearly gates and stand before God and ask him WHY?Why now, why on Austin's birthday, why before he got to meet his new baby granddaughter, why without warning? Unfortunately at a time in my life when I so desperately wanted answers I had no where to turn. I was a coward full of fear. I lacked the knowledge and the understanding of death. I wanted nothing more than to be able to stand beside my husband and be his pillar of strength. Instead I was weak. I had no profound words of wisdom. No understanding of why he was taken. For days I walked around in a fog with the question WHY? swirling in my head.
The questions were tearing me up inside. Our days are filled with laughter, joking, and just plain fun but in an instant it was full of tears, sorrow and quiet days. I was becoming angry. Angry at God. I wanted to know why I had to watch my husband that I love so dearly hurt so badly. Explain death the best I could to my 10 year old for the 4th time in less than 6 months, when I myself lacked answers, or watch my 1 year old reach into the casket of his grandpa and try to wake him up. I then knew I didn't need answers, I needed understanding. I needed a place to turn to to help me and my family deal with this overwhelming grief that was taking over my home. I needed courage and conviction to face the reality of death. I could no longer deny this inevitable unfortunate fact of life.
At the service for Don's dad I sat and cried. Not only for the loss of his father but I cried to God and apologized for my stupidity. Stupidity at thinking that if I ignored his calling he wouldn't take me home. Stupidity for thinking that at a time of such weakness I wouldn't need something more to sustain my strength. Now don't get me wrong, I pray, I have said the same prayer every night for over 10 years. I will not tell you what I pray for because it is so very personal but I will tell you that it is never about any material things. And God has listened and continued to answer my prayer. So why was I so afraid of him? Maybe because I knew he was the decider of my fate but on the other hand I so willingly trust him with giving and sustaining life through my children. I believe my fear was from my lack of understanding. Understanding that he does have the perfect plan for all of us. It may not be what we want or desire but I believe that God has the answers. I will no longer be asking why. The answers will come in their own time or maybe never. I'm alright with that. Yes I will cry and mourn the loss of every loved one that leaves before me but next time I hope that with a little courage, a little conviction, and a whole lot more understanding, I will not be afraid.
"But where does one go to search for god, I asked myself." In the book of Job, Zophar had asked, "Can a man by searching find out God?" (Job 11:7), not believing it possible. Jeremiah 29:13 answers:"Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."
And so the searching begins.....
Fast forward to January 1st 2008. Oh how I wanted nothing more than to have that courage, that conviction, to march right up to those pearly gates and stand before God and ask him WHY?Why now, why on Austin's birthday, why before he got to meet his new baby granddaughter, why without warning? Unfortunately at a time in my life when I so desperately wanted answers I had no where to turn. I was a coward full of fear. I lacked the knowledge and the understanding of death. I wanted nothing more than to be able to stand beside my husband and be his pillar of strength. Instead I was weak. I had no profound words of wisdom. No understanding of why he was taken. For days I walked around in a fog with the question WHY? swirling in my head.
The questions were tearing me up inside. Our days are filled with laughter, joking, and just plain fun but in an instant it was full of tears, sorrow and quiet days. I was becoming angry. Angry at God. I wanted to know why I had to watch my husband that I love so dearly hurt so badly. Explain death the best I could to my 10 year old for the 4th time in less than 6 months, when I myself lacked answers, or watch my 1 year old reach into the casket of his grandpa and try to wake him up. I then knew I didn't need answers, I needed understanding. I needed a place to turn to to help me and my family deal with this overwhelming grief that was taking over my home. I needed courage and conviction to face the reality of death. I could no longer deny this inevitable unfortunate fact of life.
At the service for Don's dad I sat and cried. Not only for the loss of his father but I cried to God and apologized for my stupidity. Stupidity at thinking that if I ignored his calling he wouldn't take me home. Stupidity for thinking that at a time of such weakness I wouldn't need something more to sustain my strength. Now don't get me wrong, I pray, I have said the same prayer every night for over 10 years. I will not tell you what I pray for because it is so very personal but I will tell you that it is never about any material things. And God has listened and continued to answer my prayer. So why was I so afraid of him? Maybe because I knew he was the decider of my fate but on the other hand I so willingly trust him with giving and sustaining life through my children. I believe my fear was from my lack of understanding. Understanding that he does have the perfect plan for all of us. It may not be what we want or desire but I believe that God has the answers. I will no longer be asking why. The answers will come in their own time or maybe never. I'm alright with that. Yes I will cry and mourn the loss of every loved one that leaves before me but next time I hope that with a little courage, a little conviction, and a whole lot more understanding, I will not be afraid.
"But where does one go to search for god, I asked myself." In the book of Job, Zophar had asked, "Can a man by searching find out God?" (Job 11:7), not believing it possible. Jeremiah 29:13 answers:"Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."
And so the searching begins.....
Thursday, December 20, 2007
To blow the stink off em...
We have been fighting this flu bug for too long. Way too long if you ask me. We have all been under the weather for awhile now and it was decided that there was no better way to blow it right out of them for good than to send em out in the BLIZZARD!! Actually in all seriousness we were feeling much better and it was refreshing just to get outside even for a little bit. There is just something about fresh air that makes you feel better and well honestly makes the little one sleep better. It did us all some good. Here's some pics and yes he did eat more snow...
He wasn't too sure about walking in the white stuff
Not sure if he is eating boogies or snow 
Snow buddies
Our snow eater..daddy already warned him about the yellow snow
On another note this was a big week for our sweet Ella. Every pregnancy I have had milestones that I have eagerly anticipated. I guess when your Dr. says to you, "Amanda how many times can you press your luck" you begin to count your blessings the further along you get. Everyone knows that the 12 week mark is huge, the nervous excitement of the 18 week ultrasound , and now week 24. Why week 24? SHE'S CONSIDERED VIABLE! Yep a milestone in my book, by no means ready to be be born but if she did come they would try to help her survive. She is doing great and is very active. She has found her "spot" and I have politely asked her to move but it is to no avail. It seems that she has become quite comfortable curled up low, very very low. Jake used my bladder as a trampoline, he was breach until week 36 and Ella is head down and uses my bladder as her punching bag. I am afraid my poor bladder may never recover but as long as this little miracle stays put until mid March she can do whatever she wants.
Also to pass along some completely useless information, which I actually think is pretty neat, Did you know that when a woman is pregnant with a girl all of her millions of eggs that she will eventually use to have children are already formed in utero? So medically speaking you are not only carrying your daughter but future grandchildren as well. Yes I know useless info, but albeit pretty darn interesting not to mention quite a burden to know that not only do I have to protect this sweet little life inside me but her eggs too...
Week 24!
Me, Ella and my future granchildren :)
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
A day in the life of Jake...
How exactly do you wake up this happy?
Find a balloon I guess...
He undecorated the christmas tree several times
Is she really letting me touch these?
He refound the balloon
and chased it EVERYWHERE!! 
He played with snowflakes
Picked up snow..
and ATE IT!! 
Jake washed his hair
and rinsed it out...
He practiced with his fork (he will not use a little one)
and almost fell asleep doing it!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Practice makes perfect
Aunt KeeKee bought our sweet girl her 1st baby doll. Jake found it in the bag and was instantly in love. He completely soaked the doll with kisses and wanted it out of the box. Luckily Austin found an old doll and he was perfectly content to smother it with love. I am hoping with much pratice our sweet little brutus who is very content to dish out "smackdowns" on a daily basis will have a sweet side once his sister arrives! I am not holding my breath but we'll sure keep praticing...
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Austin's Update
Austin's #1 Fan
The team got to say goodbye
The worst feeling I ever had..seeing him in so much pain
Some football buddies
Goofing around at the hotel
Ready for his 1st play in Kentucky
1st pass in Kentucky..COMPLETED!!
1st and 2nd BIGGEST Fans!!
We are so proud of all his hard work!We didn't get very good news at the doctor's. Well at least not what I expected. He has a level 3 (the worst) sprain/tear of his lateral collaterall ligament. The good news is that he does not at this time require surgery. I am soo grateful for that. She explained how extensive a surgery would be at his age, drilling through growth plates etc, so again I am soo relieved that this should heal. He completely tore the ligament from the bone so he will have to keep it immobilized and stay on crutches for at least another 3 weeks. She said this type of injury can take as long as 8 weeks to heal but she will recheck him in 3 and we will go from there. She was a wonderful doctor but he was in alot of pain when we left from all the moving that she did. Here are a few pics from the weekend.
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